Ok, I’ve started having Launch Stress Dreams. I’m legendary for this sort of thing – it’s like my brain works through every possible permutation of what can, may, will, almost certainly won’t, should and/or is incredibly-unlikely-unless-we-break-through-into-another-space/time-continuum happen. Seriously. I think I can discard the “room turning into a disco danceoff session, with John Travolta naked” scenario. And my other-half’s dream about me turning into a ginger and white cat mid-reading is also probably not something I need to worry about. But that still leaves huge amounts of fretting room. Just on the subject of “turning up”, I’ve had the following scenarios play out in my dreams:
- no-one turns up
- everyone turns up, drinks the bar dry, and buy zero copies of the book
- the books don’t turn up
- I forget to turn up
- I turn up, and have a wardrobe malfunction that involves catastrophic underwear failure.
Sanity is something I am beginning to sorely miss. And it’s only Monday …
Ok, all you other Published Authors – share! What were your biggest worries before the launch of your first collection? Actually, I think we’d better restrict this to ”that didn’t end up happening” …
A Dark Feathered Art 
After the launch of my first poetry collection (1991), Geoff Walker of Penguin Books waddled up, held out his fin for shaking, and suggested we adjourn to an igloo so that he could buy me a drink.
Half filled (half empty) glass suspended, Geoff said I was a highly talented poet and if I took up fiction then he wanted to see the typescript.
Where’s the ice?
That’s priceless!
I can’t recall anything going wrong at any of the book launches I have been to – quite a few by now! I’m sure everything will go brilliantly well.
Well it won’t be for want of worrying, planning, adjusting, thinking, fretting and even praying. (I typed “preying” first, which feels uncannily apt …)