1. Build it, and they will come. Timetable it, and they might. Or not. Depends, really.
2. No matter how organised you think you are, you aren’t.
3. Bulldog clips.
4. The class that you’re sure will be really popular will take the full amount of time available to clear the minimum numbers threshold.
5. Unless you’ve booked a tiny room, in which case you’ll have a sell-out with a waiting list.
6. Time and duration are concepts that appear to be identical on the outside, but which assume vastly different aspects depending on whether the main sound in the room is the scratching of pens or the scratching of heads. The scratching of knives is generally considered a bad sign.
7. Technology is your friend. Just not today.
8. Poets leave everything until the last minute. Or the one after that, depending on whether they are iambic, trochaic, dactylic (watch out for them) or anapestic. If someone appears to be pyrrhic – run.
9. When planning a class, research your topic, make notes, and assemble them into a selection of files, folders or heaps.
10. Then do something else, because you read about it the night before and it sounds vaguely interesting.
11. There is no substitute for wanton cruelty.
12. The only way to work out how much material your class will get through in any one session is to invent a time-machine.
13. Bulldog clips. Big ones and little ones.
14. Three quarters of the material you have prepared is superfluous. And you will not realise this until you actually talk through the whole lesson as you plan to teach it.
15. It’s best if this happens before the students arrive.